LET'S TALK RELATIONSHIPS

A few weeks ago on Facebook I got a message from another new preemie Momma and it was very touching. I get things like this often from people who read my blog, real life friends, and friends I have made on different support groups.

I wanted to talk about this, because by no means are we perfect, we don't always get along, we definitely aren't the perfect family, but we try. It's hard, but definitely worth every bit of it. I am not the perfect Mom, I don't know everything, I learn things daily about my Daughter and how to do things for her/handle new situations. I just don't always show it publicly, but I have a few super freakout moments here and there. At the end of the day though I am Teale's Mama and deep down I know whats best for her. It helps having medical background, especially with her issues in the beginning.

So back to the original picture that inspired this post..

I get told all the time that we're so lucky and that friends wish they had our relationship. It's not all glitter and rainbows, promise. We have to work at it, just like you do with any relationship in your life, not just romantic. It's hard being 3 hours away from each other right now so that I can finnish school, but we were 8 hours apart for the first 8 months of our relationship. It might be easier to be away from each other because that's how we started out so it's the norm for us. Honestly due to school we haven't lived in the same house for more than 3 months together in the past 2 years, but we'll be together in just a little over a month when I finally graduate.

We communicate. We text, email, facebook, send pictures, and call a lot. Whoever wakes first texts the other if we haven't heard from them then on my way to class I will call him, around lunch h calls me, leaving class I call him, and then maybe one more time before bed time, then at bed time we talk for awhile once we get settled into bed.

We are patient. Some women/men think that if their partner doesn't answer their phone/texts right away that they either don't make enough time for them or something is going on. I am very comfortable with our relationship and know where I am. There is only one other lady in his life and that's our Daughter.

We both have flaws and we accept that. If we were both perfect, that'd be boring. So many friends spend so much time trying to change their partner. You shouldn't have to change someone I believe. You knew how it was when you got together so learn to accept it. There's something about you that your partner might not like but they love you regardless.

Know when to pick your battles. Simple as that.

We tease each other. Not like that, perv. But I make fun of him or he makes fun of me. We still flirt, I know.. gross.

*He is 7 years older than me.*

We split chores. We compromise. Some people feel that women should stay home all day and clean, take care of the babies, be looking like a super model, and have dinner on the table by 5. Yeah right. Sometimes I'm too tired to cook so D will come home and cook. I like to have all those things done before he comes home, but some days it just doesn't happen. He doesn't expect it and that helps. He understands my role and his own. He doesn't think being a "SAHM" is a joke.

He changes diapers, he feeds her, he wakes up at 2am. Not all the time, but more than some friend's Husbands. Usually every night we take turns getting up with her. He knows that I need a break sometimes.

We respect each other. I am not going to paint our bedroom pink, he's not going to leave beer cans everywhere. He doesn't cook with things I don't like. I don't say inappropriate things around people. We don't fight in front of other people. We try not to yell at each other, but I mainly am guilty of sometimes raising my voice. I love Teen Mom and he despises it, so instead of making him watch it with me, I record it and watch it the next morning while he's at work.

We try to make sure the other knows they're special. I send him packages with his favorite candies, a movie, make his favorite foods, buy him random things he has told me he wanted before. He sends me cards, buys me small things or tells me to go buy myself things.

If we have a problem.. We talk about it privately. He doesn't raise his voice, sometimes the hormones just get going or something, but for the most part we try to talk calmly to each other. I don't say things that are hateful or put him down, because I don't want to hurt him and I will end up regretting that. If it's something he does that I don't like I will say "How can I help you change this?" or "It really upsets me when you do ..... so please don't do it anymore."

We have date nights. Sometimes a date night is a pizza and 6 pack and others it's a night out to town, but we try to have a date night at least 2 times a month now. It used to be weekly but then we had a baby and got all boring. ha!

I treat him how I want to be treated. It's as simple as that. Oh and he keeps plenty of wine in the house. (kidding) But really, I have a glass a day, sometimes two if I'm feeling brave.

Have any questions for us? Tell me how you and your partners relationships works.